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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26067523">Craftsman, Crooner, Magician, Malfunction</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/greatpartyisntit/pseuds/greatpartyisntit'>greatpartyisntit</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>CATS the musical - Fandom, Cats - Andrew Lloyd Webber, Cats - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Androids, Animatronics, Gen, M/M, Short One Shot, ffffff idfk y'all</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:14:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>750</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26067523</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/greatpartyisntit/pseuds/greatpartyisntit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Oh, the trials and tribulations of one man's engineering genius..</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>(IMPLIED), Mr. Mistoffelees &amp; Rum Tum Tugger (Cats)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Craftsman, Crooner, Magician, Malfunction</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Goodnight Misto!“ Tugger shouted to his best friend, far too loud.</p><p>"Goodnight,” Mr. Mistoffelees replied, at a more reasonable volume. Mr. Mistoffelees ducked under some trash to get to his den, as most Jellicles must do, but then he kept going.</p><p>Mr. Mistoffelees crawled through the secret tunnel built into his home, leading to… the home of Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat! Upon eye contanct, Mr. Mistoffelees went limp in an instant.</p><p>Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat shook his head and gave a sad sigh. He removed Mr. Mistoffelees’ bowtie, and flipped the hidden switch, turning off all sparkles. He would have to check the wiring, tonight. Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat had never meant for it to go this far, but how could he disappoint The Rum Tum Tugger, who had clearly fallen in love with this magical steampunk marionette? Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat had been forced to use real magic to bring back Old Deuteronomy, instead of hidden lights and strings as per usual.</p><p>“I can’t believe that I thought making you call him a bore would work. The Rum Tum Tugger is a contrarian!” Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat always talked to himself as he worked, to distract himself from the terrible crime against Jellicity he was committing. “I should have never tried to play Ruler of the Heaviside Layer.</p><p>"Maybe if I made you a fanboy? No, that would be suspicious. I could make it gradual, but how long can I keep up this ruse?” A single tear slipped down the fur of Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat.</p><p>Suddenly, Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat’s head shot up, his eyes alight, and snapped his fingers. “I’ve got it!” he declared to a workshop of bits and bobs, mechanics and copper, a cat made whole and several undone. “I know <em>just</em> what this - no, he! - needs.”</p><p>Whirling around and sweeping his arm across one of many of his work desks (after all, for a cat so clever as Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat, one must have all the space he can find to scribble his endless genius), he sent all sorts of clatter and noise to the floor. His fingers fumbled to extract his round little reading glasses from his front pocket, shoving them on his noise, and then peered down into them through their blurry, finger-marked lens.</p><p>“Yes, let’s see here,” he muttered and tittered to himself, forgoing a large sheet of paper for sketching on the table itself. The table itself was a world map of ideas young and old; failed and blooming; oopsies and whoopies. Well into the night and dawn did Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat draw and draw, and when the mid-morning sun cast his own shadow upon the wall (and giving him a proper startle! how embarrassing for him, and his tail), the trusty orange tabby removed his glasses and dug his fists into his stinging eyes.</p><p>“Oh, what a night,” he groused to Magical Mr. Mistoffelees (The Original Conjuring Cat model 41.2; his predecessor Quaxo, oh– oh, he didn’t want to think about ol’ Quaxo today, what a mess) hanging as limp as a metal-and-gear marionette can. “But don’t you worry,” he added, wagging a determined, promising finger into the face of an unliving thing whose realistic glass eyes were fixed upon the floor through the slats of silicone eyelids that could never fully close (oh, shoot!; add that on the ‘honey-do’ list today: fix his damn eyes, a-<em>gain!</em>). “I’ve got an idea for you, and you are going to <em>love it.</em>”</p><p>Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat puffed up his chest and beamed a sunny, starry beam; he was a jolly man, so jolly he uplifted himself.</p><p>“Well, now, I’m off to bed, Mistoffelees,” he announced to his tinkered, tailored son. “I’ll see you in a few hours. Don’t you get into trouble!”</p><p>Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat had a good chuckle to himself as he tapped off the light. Oh, that joke would never get old. Silly is as silly does, but an animatronic can never be <em>that</em> animated.</p><p>As Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat meandered off to bed with a rousing sea shanty to accompany the journey, the darkened studio behind him glimmered and gleamed under the thin, lopsided slat of the warped workshop door, as it’s done before, and before, and before.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>(is there a <b>soldier? </b>is there a <b>spy?</b>)</em>
</p><p>
  <em>                                       (please don’t ask questions - especially not <b>'why’</b>)</em>
</p><p>
  <em>                                                                        (just keep the door <b>closed</b> and don’t mind the <b>lights</b>)</em>
</p><p>
  <em>                                                                                    (it’s just a little<b> magic</b> - at least, on <b>most</b> nights..)</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>a spur-of-the-moment, whimsical collaboration with @demonsummoning on tumblr!! she was very inspiring, and i couldn't help but jump in!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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